Your Mental Health Is Your Responsibility—And Your Community’s Too
One of the biggest things I teach my clients is this: your mental health is your responsibility.
But here’s the thing—you don’t exist in a vacuum.
We like to think of mental health as an individual thing (especially in the U.S.), but it’s deeply relational. You are influenced by the people around you, just as you influence them. Your healing (or lack of it) doesn’t just affect you—it affects your family, your friends, your children, and your entire community.
I know this struggle personally. As a Mexican-American woman, I grew up in a culture that values interdependence—family, community, showing up for each other. But I also live in the U.S., where we glorify hyper-independence to a ridiculous degree.
• “Figure it out yourself.”
• “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
• “Therapy is for weak people.”
Bullshit!
This individualistic mindset keeps people isolated, suffering in silence, and ashamed to ask for help. Meanwhile, research shows that countries with higher levels of violence and trauma often have better recovery rates than the U.S. because their communities show up for each other (Cacioppo & Cacioppo, 2018).
So yes, your mental health is your responsibility. But that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.
🌱 The Garden Metaphor: You Are a Product of Your Environment
If a plant is withering, do you yell at it?
No! You check:
✔️ Is it getting enough sunlight?
✔️ Is it getting watered?
✔️ Does the soil have nutrients?
Humans are the same.
• Your soil = your family, culture, and support system.
• Your sun and water = people who nourish you, validate you, and uplift you.
• The weeds and toxins = shame, toxic relationships, stigma, and systemic barriers.
Now, here’s the wild part—research shows that over 80% of your mental health is influenced by the person you are closest to (Fowler & Christakis, 2008).
📢 Read that again!
Your closest relationships affect your mental health, physical health, and even your lifespan.
So if you’re surrounded by:
• People who invalidate your struggles
• A culture that shames you for needing help
• Family members who dismiss mental health as “not real”
…it’s going to be really hard to heal.
But the opposite is also true. If you surround yourself with people who support your growth, you will thrive!
💥 Breaking the Stigma: It’s Okay to Need Help
We live in a culture where mental health is so misunderstood that people think getting help means something is wrong with you.
Let me be clear:
🔥 Needing help is human.
🔥 Struggling is normal.
🔥 You are not “broken.”
Dr. Gabor Maté (2022), in his book The Myth of Normal, talks about how mental illness is often a normal response to a sick society. If you grow up in a world that devalues emotional connection, of course, you’re going to struggle.
So, what do we do?
Start Small: The Tiny Shifts That Change Everything
Healing doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Try this:
• Brush your teeth. (Basic, but so important.)
• Drink water. (Dehydration wrecks mental health.)
• Move your body. (No, you don’t need to run a marathon. Just stretch, dance, or walk.)
• Go outside. (Sunlight is medicine for your brain.)
• Tell someone you love them. (Connection heals.)
One small shift today. Another tomorrow. That’s how you build momentum.
🛠️ Find Your Support System
You don’t have to do this alone. There are so many resources available:
🎯 Therapy & Coaching
• I run group support for neurodivergent adults and EMDR intensives.
• I also provide coaching for high-achieving individuals who feel stuck.
🫂 Support Groups
• NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) offers free mental health groups.
🌍 Community Connections
• Meetup.com has groups for hobbies, mental health, and social support.
• Even if you commit to one event per month, it can significantly improve your mental health.
⛔ If Your Current Circle Drains You…
Sometimes, healing requires distancing yourself from relationships that keep you stuck.
• Two struggling people can’t heal together unless there’s real support.
• If people in your life make it harder for you to get better, you may need to step back.
🚀 Final Thoughts: You Are More Than a Label
One of the biggest reasons I started my coaching practice alongside my therapy work is because I hate the way people get permanently labeled.
A diagnosis can be helpful (it gives you a map, a direction). But you are not your diagnosis.
• You are not “broken.”
• You are not doomed to struggle forever.
• You do not need therapy every single week for the rest of your life.
Healing is possible. Change is possible. Growth is possible.
💡 Take care of yourself.
💡 Find your people.
💡 Start today.
And if you need guidance, I’m here. Let’s build a life that actually feels good—together.
💬 Need support? Have questions? Please contact me! I have tons of resources for whatever your situation is. And if I can’t personally help you, I’ll make sure you get connected to someone who can. 💛
📚 References (APA Format)
Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2018). Loneliness: Clinical import and interventions. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 13(2), 226-240.
Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2008). Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: Longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. BMJ, 337, a2338.
Maté, G. (2022). The myth of normal: Trauma, illness, and healing in a toxic culture. Avery Publishing.