The Transition Trap: Why Moving from One Thing to the Next Feels Like an Olympic Sport (for Autistic and ADHD Folks)

Transitions. The dreaded “T” word. Whether it’s getting out of your car, turning off your favorite video game, or even something super basic like getting up to pee, transitions can feel like an Olympic-level mental gymnastics event. And if you’re neurodivergent like me (autistic, ADHD, and living that PDA-flavored life), you know exactly what I mean.

Here’s the thing: these aren’t just “normal” struggles. We can forget to drink water, hold our pee for hours (bladder infection vibes), and straight-up forget meals until we’re hangry disasters. Even something like “brush your teeth, please” can feel like an epic-level boss battle.

But when we do pull it off? HUGE WIN! I’m talking confetti, fireworks, and victory parade-style acknowledgment!

The Car Sit Showdown

Picture this: I pull into my driveway after a long day. I’ve made it. Victory! But wait—there’s more. I still have to get out of the car.

Suddenly, my brain goes: “Nah, we live here now.” I stare at the steering wheel while my inner monologue pipes up:

“Open the door. You’ve got this. One foot out. Come on, you amazing human.”

Yet… I sit there. And sometimes my kids come out, knock on the window, and say, “Mom…what are you doing?” Great question, kids. I’d love to know too.

Why Neurodivergent Folks Count ALL the Steps (Even if No One Else Does)

For neurotypical folks, a task like “going to the grocery store” might seem like a single thing. But for us? It’s more like a treasure map of a thousand tasks:

1. Put on shoes (But where are my shoes?).

2. Gather keys and wallet (Wait, did I leave them in the fridge?).

3. Get out the door (Distraction pit stop to pet the cat).

4. Get into the car.

5. Buckle the seatbelt (unless it’s one of those tangly deathtraps).

Each micro-step demands energy, and when you pile it all up, no wonder we freeze! It’s not that we’re lazy—we’re just mentally maxed out before we even begin.

Hyperfocus & Sensory Bliss: Why Transitioning Away Feels Physically Painful

Sometimes, we’re really loving what we’re doing. Maybe we’re knee-deep in Minecraft, writing a blog post (hi!), or enjoying the calm of a quiet car ride. And then someone says, “Time to stop!”

Cue the internal rebellion. It’s like someone ripped a warm blanket off you in the dead of winter. How dare they??

For kids (and grown-ups), this can look like yelling, crying, or going full Hulk mode. And no, it’s not just stubbornness—it’s demand avoidance, sensory immersion, and executive function meltdown all rolled into one frustrating package.

The Office Time Vortex

Once I’m in my office and in the zone, the idea of shutting down for the day? Forget it. Gathering papers, turning off my laptop, packing my bag? TOO MANY STEPS. Suddenly, it’s 8:24 PM, and I’m still sitting there like I’m waiting for someone to evict me.

This is exactly why I offer longer therapy intensives instead of those short, 53-minute sessions (shoutout to insurance companies for that one ). Neurodivergent brains need time to settle in, explore, and wrap things up at their own pace. When you give us longer spaces of time, transitions become smoother—not perfect—but smoother.

The “Basic Needs” Transitions That Deserve a Freaking Trophy

Let’s be real: some of the most heroic transitions are the ones tied to basic human needs. These are the ones we neglect the most:

• Getting up to pee.

• Brushing your teeth.

• Eating actual food instead of whatever’s nearest.

• Taking meds.

• Drinking water. (Please, drink some water. Your body loves you.)

These are not “small things”—they’re HUGE WINS. You did the thing! And if you didn’t today? That’s okay too. Tomorrow’s another chance.

The Tools That Help Break Down the Chaos

Here are a few trusty tools that help me and my clients manage transitions:

1. Goblin Tools – This app literally breaks tasks into steps so you don’t have to. You can even customize the details (and it’s adorable).

2. ChatGPT – Ask it to break down a task for you, like, “How do I leave my office without spiraling?”

3. Timers & Gentle Reminders – Yes, reminders can be annoying. But a soft chime or fun song can make a world of difference when you’re hyperfocused. Cue your fave lofi jam. 🎶

Why Transitions Burn Us Out More Than Neurotypical Folks

Here are three key reasons transitions are especially hard for autistic and ADHD brains:

1. Executive Function Overload – We have to stop, plan, shift, and restart. Each of those steps requires brainpower we don’t always have.

2. Demand Avoidance – Sometimes the sheer expectation of doing something triggers shutdown or defiance.

3. Sensory Overwhelm (or Bliss) – If we’re in a sensory comfort zone, being ripped away can feel unbearable. If we’re avoiding a sensory hell (fluorescent grocery store lighting, I’m looking at you), it’s even harder.

Celebrate Every Transition Victory

Did you drink water today? YAY, YOU!

Got yourself to bed at a reasonable-ish time? HECK YES!

Remembered to brush your teeth after scrolling TikTok for two hours? LEGENDARY!

Every small win matters. And those small wins? They add up to big ones. In a world that constantly demands more of us (especially in the hustle culture of the U.S.), every little step toward self-care and balance is an act of rebellion and resilience.

Real Talk: You’re Not Alone

If transitions feel impossible and you’re stuck in the car, the office, or at your desk for way too long, I see you. It’s not laziness—it’s your brain doing its best.

As a licensed psychologist who’s also neurodivergent, I get it. Whether you’re struggling with daily routines, sensory overload, or life changes, I’m here to help.

Let’s Make Transitions Easier, Together

Schedule a consultation if you’re ready to break free from the transition trap and build a life that fits your brain. And hey—if you’re still sitting in your car? Don’t worry. You’ll get there.

Resources to Dive Deeper:

1. “Executive Dysfunction in ADHD and Autism” – Journal of Clinical Psychology

2. “The Neuroscience of Hyperfocus and Demand Avoidance” – Neurodiversity Research Digest

3. “Supporting Autistic Individuals Through Transitions” – Autism Society

You’ve got this. And when you don’t? That’s okay too. Here’s your reminder to breathe, drink water, and celebrate every little win. 🌟

If you’d like to set up an appointment with me, then just click here or call me. Let’s break the bad habit cycle together.